How Do I Fisted Planet, by Theophagus

How Do I Fisted Planet

by Theophagus

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1.	Bunnym'n 01:59	lyrics	buy track
DAMIAN (on answering machine): Fuckin' insane.... why don't you give me a call when you get back in, partner.......
2.	Taking Orgasms For Granted 00:30	lyrics	buy track
TAKING ORGASMS FOR GRANTED She was on the hopper I was sprayin' filthy copper And she mourns Lopper told me, "lay low! Can't you see how well the halo hides the horns?" [NOTE: With its suggestive, perverted lyrics, this was a definite portent of Recreational Episiotomy . "Lopper" was in reference to a character named Lop Dopamine in a screenplay I had written in 8th grade. I only realized later that it could've been spelled L-A-U-P-E-R; but no reference to Cyndi was intended.]
3.	Whip It Out? 00:58		buy track
4.	Metal Preparedness Week 00:36		buy track
5.	Mr. McFeely (Overdub Session 6A, Take 5) 00:29		buy track
6.	Hi, It's Kelly 02:04		buy track
7.	Man of the Cloth 01:52		buy track
8.	Butterscotch Crotch 02:04		buy track
9.	Death By Misadventure 01:45		buy track
10.	Itchy Eye 00:56		buy track
11.	A Streetcar Named Fuck You 00:49	lyrics	buy track
A STREETCAR NAMED FUCK YOU I have authority over authority I have priority over priority [NOTE: This obviously predates the Recreational Episiotomy song of the same name, but I believe the sentiment is the same.]
12.	Break My Windshield 00:58		buy track
13.	Yamaha MT-7x 00:07		buy track
14.	Fuck-Start My Fart 01:29		buy track
15.	Riff For Robbery Victim 00:31		buy track
16.	Steak-Drunk 01:29		buy track
17.	There's a Drought On 00:43		buy track
18.	Rolfing 00:43		buy track
19.	Goorew 01:01	lyrics	buy track
GOOREW A book of Faust is duly housed under the leg of the table Underneath Long in the tooth, but telling the truth The only thing long as her fable is her teeth
20.	The Night Before 01:28	lyrics	buy track
THE NIGHT BEFORE The night before prepares you to tangle with Christ If he wasn't the best he wouldn't be so overpriced
21.	Sport Fuck 03:03		buy track
22.	Crescendo Skeleton 00:41		buy track
23.	Cheap Donuts = Haunted Cops 00:26		buy track
24.	Semi-Lethal Ping Pong Dust 01:36	info	buy track
25.	Rectal Chaos 00:43		buy track
26.	The Bomb-Maker's Son Has No Missing Limbs 01:31		buy track
27.	Sister Deceased 00:10		buy track
28.	Barf Me a River 01:48		buy track
29.	Swingin' in B 04:01	lyrics	buy track
SWINGIN' IN B There was a bee on the swingset He stung me in the ass There was a bee on the swingset swing He stung me in the ass Tiffany don't squirt me with your baby doll bottle Tiffany squirt me with her baby doll bottle There was a bee on the swingset He stung me in the ass There was a bee on the swingset swing He stung me in the ass He stung me a thousand times and stung my ass
30.	Galop Infernal 01:07	info	buy track
31.	Pushover / Cutup 06:04	lyrics	buy track
PUSHOVER (features various clips from recordings I made of my neighbors fighting in 2002) CUTUP The pushover gets knocked down The cutup is broken in half The pushover gets knocked down The cutup is broken in half
32.	What The Big Boys Eat 00:29		buy track

about

{TCE-044}

THEOPHAGUS is the name of the solo songwriting/recording project I began at around age 16. From 1992-2002 I recorded roughly 100 hours of material, most of it on my Yamaha MT8X 8-track cassette recorder.

This, the sixth compilation of recordings spanning nearly a decade, is solely dedicated to the "harder" side of Theophagus - AKA "I got squealin' metal riffs out the yoni." As always, every second has been redigitized, rebuilt, remixed, and remastered directly from the original cassettes (including micro in the case of track 27).

credits

released August 6, 2015

"Leafblower Facial" cover photo by Ashly Roachclip

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TrashCanEagle Sacramento, California

Official label of XOC* and friends

* one of those video game music guys

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