Skeletons & Hamburgers

by Theophagus

/
1.
I WAS AND AM CONTENT NOT TO BE INVOLVED When I was a kid All of my friends Wouldn't play with me 'Cuz they were too busy playing D&D Now that I'm a man All of my friends Won't go out drinking 'Cuz they're too busy playing Magic the Gathering
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PECKER SNOT [featuring Lucky X] (reading paragraphs, out of order, from HUSTLER)
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PLANET HAPPY PERMANENT ACID A thousand hits of acid and two thousand beady eyes Someone kept a'talkin' 'bout the stars up in them skies The weather not permitting (it was positively British) The people kept a'marchin' Gettin' twitchy, gettin' skittish On the planet Pomegranate Dead in the water again On the planet Pomegranate I'll keep on saying I'm doing the best that I can Wish I may, I wish I sodo-mite be the star tonight Jealous of the four from long ago on a "ton of Fu" Give the grease to Squeaky over there That would make the third wheel you A thousand beady eyes beheld a thousand-mile-wide eye Above a mouth that bellowed down from up there in the sky A thousand cotton-mouths but not a dry eye to be found A thousand heads crack open, scattering the seeds around Around the planet Pomegranate We'll never really be free From the planet Pomegranate But we'll keep saying the best we can do is say, "wish I may" Lookin' like a zombie when I last saw Jim alive And I bet he mixed a thousand drinks since 1995
5.
Liquid Smoke 01:50
LIQUID SMOKE* I'm cleanin' up like a fuckin' street sweeper Get more honey than a fuckin' bee keeper So put up your guard if you're gonna act hard If you're gonna be a turd, then go lay in the yard Get out the way or you will get moved Kid tested, motherfucker approved So much bank I can open my own branch Jehovah Supernova at Cordova Ranch I defy and I decree no one try to silence me It's L[iquid] S[moke] D[ogg] with the soda and scotch Old MacDonald had a farm, bi-yi-yee-yi-otch Do so much dirt I put the "man" in "manure" Do so much dirt I don't smoke pot, I smoke potting soil THE KING COBRA GONNA COIL!! Evil has no boundries - just call me "The Slayer" If the volume splits your head then go and get some Bayer, player I turn my stereo down for no man That ain't even in my motherfuckin' program I bump the shit as loud as it'll go Feelin' HELLA fucked-up drivin' to the liquor store Then I hit the freeway, mash the gas to the motherfuckin' floor * this is my "RAP NAME" yo
6.
actionable Pantera infringement
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GORILLA, COW, LION, AND WHALE Sister's on the couch with a shirt and panties on Brother's in his room, bustin' caps Papa's in the bedroom, snoozin' naked on the bed - Momma spreads for Papa's picture snaps Raisin' hell and stealin', makin' clean sweeps after dark Some things "gang aft-a gley" Brother pushes Papa 'till the final straw, it snaps Papa chases little Bro' away Hand on the shifter, it's a midnight run We're hellions in training with a BB gun "In a time unsafe to walk the streets" We ride our bikes, anyway We don't give a good goddamn about the traffic While they duck from the Redi-Whip spray Suited up for action, the Assailants rock out The sugar rush has got me kinda high Am I a man or mouse or am I just a little kid? Drunk on roof and looking to the sky
8.
The Drink 02:22
THE DRINK I am innocent because I haven't done anything But there, with flowing* hair So far down the bar I saw Oh yes, I think You could be the squaw that stirs the drink Could I buy you one? One more frosty cool drink and I'm FUCKED * some sources read "glowing"
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SHE'S MY GRAIN She's my grain Against her I will go My coal train now runs on diamonds Last Tango in Clarksville Bang Mango's coming to get me
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proFAN 00:21
nvm
11.
yep
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Polymoon 01:25
POLYMOON Every month on the Mediterranean I head out for the tracks just a block away from Chinatown Saw my uncle through the bars while visiting the jail Then I hopped a train at the railyard four blocks down Told you it was a game, you didn't believe But you will find out soon Kneelin' on the real estate underneath that Polymoon Five streets up to the parking garage Stole a car in the district of red Took a chance on the way to the double-W bar Got wasted and almost arrested As I fled toward the rich part of town And that's when I passed out in the car
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TONE & BARS [feat. Rockford Zoloft] I'm not trying to be trendy Even the losers you know have lives and lots of money It's about the time I start talking to myself and drooling in my noodles or waiting for the phone to ring Self-obsessed and involved with my subconscious legal pad doodles Oh lordy lord, Mr. Ignored - and proud, in a way I'm pacing myself to mowing the yard on a bright sunny day Jesus, give me a chance I was chasing the dog through the hall when I saw my belt on the sofa - but not until I lost my pants How long, baby, until you catch me walkin' outside? It's a useless pursuit I was all over it I was all alone I just can't wait till I see stars Sleeping alone in front of tone and bars ... ... ...kooky ka-ka is koming to get you!
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TOTALLY CLEAN One of these things is not the same I'm losing my direction The other me Don't know where I am Leaden tongue and abdomen is sinking Preserve innocence Early mornin' sunshine Directly overhead Burn my stomach red and then on into black I got a right mind to get me somethin' nourishing And real Nothing's the same Another plane experience Modified to satisfy Block it Block that thought Hold it back and then some Never all there But it couldn't hurt to try A noisy ride in silence Ticker-tape charade A man's gotta do what a child(never can)'s gotta do Settle down And settle for nothing less than nothing Never say you'll never be back here Settle for nothing less than nothing Settle for nothing less than nothing
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POOP DECK ANTHEM Stereo Cassette Tape Deck CO-4020 Fisher Stereo Cassette Tape Deck CO-4020 Fisher Stereo Cassette Tape Deck
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DJ TICK'S MIX / ARBITRONIC EXOTICIZER I will need society to listen to me scream Antisocial messages that are just what they seem Ornamental waterfall is soothing to my mind Ornamental waterfall is soothing all the time The hand grips the handle The wood and the metal The crank on the wheel The angry bed of petals
19.
VENUS OF THE SIMILE [aka BRONZE TURD] Sleepy-eyed baby with love to spare She put a tattoo on her ankle and she tied back her hair If she's the pendulum, we must be looking down the pit And here's the situation from the seat in which I sit A game of wit, the bait of tit, a childish little shit And a pair of pawns - that turd is bronze With the satin on her ass and trouble on her brain Eventually she found herself a-burnin' in the rain
20.
Rock Donkey 01:58
ROCK DONKEY If a gnome said he loves the gray is this somethin' I can say? 'cause I love the stuff you play I love the croon A set of mortal strings Velvet torture what it brings Just to shake my fav'rite things Shootin' the moon You got the rune Purple lagoon Superlative tune Dead like a goon Be my rock donkey Be my rock donkey For I'm a rock donkey I wanna be rock donkey worldwide
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Nehama 03:12
6/8 MAIN: F#-A-G.Ab.Ab/G.Ab.Ab-Bb/B (mainvox/lead: c#.b.bb.f#...--c#.d.c#.b...--b.c.c./b.c.c--bb.../eb.e.eb) 6/8 CHORUS: E-G/F#+*-A-B7/C#m7 [*"G" on F#] CHORUS picked: G/F#+ = g.b.d/f#.bb.d; C#m7 = c#.e.b {B on A string} TRANS, CH to MAIN picked: c#.e.f#/ab.f#.e-c#.eb.e/f#.b.c# {C#m/E-B/D.E.A}
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Tranny Crawl 02:54
TRANNY CRAWL I can recall loving the scent of clover and flame, a warm summer night, poets in heat, all fall for one, one in the same but out of my sight Watch us both not watch us - Transmission must hit her - You knock me unconscious - My transmissometer buried and pinned from your light My Transylvanian Saturday night I overheard just what I missed and right where I stood I traveled back Up in the sky I saw the three and it was good Watching me act around my lie There was the one who saw me through - saw through me then - Me and Loose Lips missing the point The one wanted two - I wanted ten
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Grace Period 01:08
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Original full-length version of the zombie march music as featured in the score to the smash hit motion picture "Midnight of My Life" http://laspesadillas.bandcamp.com/album/music-from-the-midnight-of-my-life
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DISCRETE PROTECTION [lyric sheet missing]
28.
Bruisy 03:41
(from journal: "...[a] highly humiliating bit of introspection. I was obviously suicidal, if I was wistfully analyzing, at twenty-one, the end of my life's path.") BRUISY Maybe I didn't live enough as a kid Maybe I wasn't the person I should've been But then who's to say If I had my way I wouldn't have ended up dead? Or maybe just a little bit sore to the touch Bruisy and me are the same Bruisy's got the same last name Bruisy is just like me Bruisy's who I want to be Maybe ol' Bruisy is better for it Maybe I should have been more like him Than him be like me and fall from a tree Is that what I meant to have said? Bruisy is just like me Bruisy's who I want to be Bruisy's my very best friend Bruisy just can't self-defend Me thinks the reflection doth protest too much
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THE HORN SECTION It was very still that day I was just a music reporter you might say Sent to write down everything at a famous concert To hear a horn section play And when they played in turn, I heard The people noticed not a third And most just said, "one out of three ain’t bad" And of all those in the crowd Not too many dug it; they said it was too loud Then I saw it happening One-hundred and forty-four thousand started to sing: Rock! Rock! Rock! Rock! Rock 'em down! Rock! Rock! Rock! Rock! Rock this town! North East West South {don't look a fire-horse in the mouth} Five months passed and still they blew And still the ones who hated it remained (despite the bugs) Fragrant smoke from a burning censer And still I wrote my paper, but the thunder part was censored because I ate the evidence - and I tell you, ladies and gents - it tasted sweet but it made me feel so bad Rock! Rock! Rock! Rock! Rock 'em down! Rock! Rock! Rock! Rock! Rock this town! North South West East {the opening act for the headlining beast} Two more salesmen's song-and-dance Echoed in their ears as a kind of a last chance And when they died it was X-mas time (if you'll pardon my expression and pardon my rhyme) And that's when it got weird...
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it really is the little things after all really is the lyrics to it really is the little things after all after all
33.
PLANET HAPPY PERMANENT ACID [remake version] A thousand hits of acid and two thousand beady eyes Someone kept a'talkin' 'bout the stars up in them skies The weather not permitting (it was positively British) The people kept a'marchin' Gettin' twitchy, gettin' skittish On the planet Pomegranate We'll never really be free On the planet Pomegranate I'll keep on saying I'm doing the best that I can Wish I may, I wish I sodo-mite be the star tonight Jealous of the four from long ago on a "ton of Fu" Give the grease to Squeaky over there That would make the third wheel you A thousand pair of eyes beheld a thousand-mile-wide eye Above a mouth that bellowed down from up there in the sky A thousand cotton-mouths but not a dry eye to be found A thousand heads crack open, scattering the seeds around Around the planet Pomegranate Dead in the water again From the planet Pomegranate But we'll keep saying the best we can do is say, "wish I may" Lookin' like a zombie when I last saw Jim alive And I bet he mixed a thousand drinks since 1995
34.

about

{TCE-053}

Theophagus Volume 9 is here!

Highlights in this installment include:

-- two tracks previously released on Las Pesadillas's score to the Bob Moricz film "MIDNIGHT OF MY LIFE" appear here in their uncut, full-length versions! (see here for the movie versions: laspesadillas.bandcamp.com/album/music-from-the-midnight-of-my-life)

-- Lucky X, a stalwart fixture of the Orangevale performing arts community (perhaps best known to the laity as the multi-instrumentalist concomitant to both bygone punk legends JOE 6 PACK, and as one-half of THE STALLION BROS.), performs here a dramatic reading of "I Hate You Deeply", a piece appearing within the Hot Letters section of the August 2000 issue of the controversial publication "Hustler."


And if anyone was wondering (hoping?) that the next volume would be the end, don't/do worry. Plenty more!

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released October 4, 2015

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TrashCanEagle Sacramento, California

Official label of XOC* and friends


* one of those video game music guys

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