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The Longest Balls

from Kill Me Before I Fuck Myself by Theophagus

/

lyrics

THE LONGEST BALLS

It's so cold out, and it's so drafty
And life like mine, you're keeping warm
And it's a fashion, she's so crafty
and somebody's everybody to me
But I wish that I could leave my post
in the Arctic Circle to star in blue movies
But duty calls
I've got the longest balls
I've got the longest balls
I know I could become a star if I tried
But how do I escape from this trap?
It's freezing cold as the Arctic midnight falls
I've got the longest balls
Joined the Army and I was demoted
I couldn't keep my claim to fame
inside my standard-issue shorts
But I wish I could go back home to be a porno star
Exiled away, I want to smash the walls
I've got the longest balls
I've got the longest balls
I know I could become a star if I tried
But how do I escape from this trap?
It's freezing cold as the arctic midnight falls
I've got the longest balls
Balls

credits

from Kill Me Before I Fuck Myself, released September 1, 2015

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