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PBS Intro 00:04
Buckwild fucker up in Applebees Huck a fuckin' fistful of feces please Untamed imbecile in Outback Super slimy salvo comin' from his crack In Red Lobster with a hard red hog Kickin' over tables throwin' messy logs Turd-throwin' maniac logs are split International House of a Pile of Shit
Phil Collins came to town Riding on a mower Took a growler Then he started knocking people over Throwing wild punches In the grip of fear Chuck Berry on a snow saucer up in here
Butt Log Dog 00:20
Jalapeño and cheese (CORN) Jalapeño and cheese (DOG) Butt log dog ALL FOR ME
The blood flows like a river on metal road Whoever heard of a river that was on a road? And never mind the river; roads are never really made of metal Unless you're in Deceased, and you're sailing blood river on a LOVE BOAT
Open container, got an open container Got an open container Now I’m on your street Open container, got an open container Got an open container I'm exposing my meat Open container, got an open container Got an open container And it spells your doom Open container, got an open container Got an open container In your living room
Dan Spitz' hair is a fucking nightmare It crawls off his head and jiggles down the stairs Dan Spitz' wig gets into a big rig Gets on the freeway then drives to a gig It comes to my house in the middle of the night I find it staring at me when I turn on the light Mullet factor terminal Bulbous and removable It calls me on the fucking telephone Heavy metal ball of hair Levitating through the air It has a fucking life of its own
Mount for a mount from a Craigslist slut Whorecraft sitz bath take it up the butt
Retarded girlfriend sleeps standing up Made an eye patch from an athletic cup Retarded girlfriend is in it to win it Runs around in circles for a hundred-twenty minutes Retarded girlfriend is a gift from above Sweatpants full of piss and a heart full of love Retarded girlfriend, ripe for the ream Retarded pizza party tinkle-drinker supreme
I can't decide what is right: The losing horns from Price is Right, or the death jingle from Mario 2 (To be played at my funeral on a loop)
WWW DOT WWW DOT WWW DOT WWW DOT Interlet / toinet / interlet / toinet Outhouse / inbox / website / shitbox Interlet / toinet / interlet / toinet Outhouse / inbox / website / shitbox WWW DOT
Lump of Dump 00:47
Lump of dump / hiding in my pant I can hump / and Immanuel Kant Sucky sauce / in a bitchen brew Load of toss / comin' right at you Decoupage / all my jit-rag sheets My garage / where I cure my meats Garden hose / wrapped around my prick Stem the rose / with a big horse dick Itch my hog / like no one else can Dick a dog / like the fucking man
OMGAR 00:41
OMGAR OMGAR Oh my god I found a rubber OMGAR OMGAR Little person motherfucker OMGAR OMGAR White bitch in the kitchen OMGAR OMGAR Hip-hopera with no pissing
Alanis in a taco fight Accidentally Farted Boulder Wheelie Poppin' Mennonite Missing toilet paper holder Existential hidden pants Pissin' pony party pickle Calaveras cuckoo dance How you say, "bitchin radical" ["b'CHIN ruh'DICKLE"] Twinkasetti waterslide Danny "D" O'Peterpanty Operates a carny ride Yakamoto didn't ante Billy Barty hackysack Listen to a load of toss Burgers in a fannypack Semen euphemism lost
Fireworks fireworks motherfuckin' fireworks
Ass Grenade 00:45
Pound sand, kick bricks, hit the fuckin road My logsplitter is about to explode Reaching in, pull the pin, grabbing a grenade Not of Army issue, toilet tissue is slayed ASS GRENADE COMES FROM THE PLACE WHERE FOOD COMES OUT U SCREAM AND SHOUT The shrapnel of the crap will Go off in your face The rectum's more effective Cause it's cheaper than mace Play to win, reaching in, producing a bomb You scatter from the scat 'cause it's so fucking wrong ASS GRENADE, LUMP OF CLAY DETONATE THE FOOD I ATE
On deck, flopping There’s no stopping the invalid sailboat race Wheelchairs roll You can’t control the invalid sailboat race
Suck, fuck, snort, abort Overdose in traffic court Party hearty, smoke and joke Throating balls until you choke Flab, scab, poles, holes That's how far the Kaiser rolls Flab, scab, poles, holes That's how far the Kaiser rolls
There's a boat Full of trucks Full of pallets Full of cases Full of boxes Full of packages of BOAT I got some BOAT From a package From a box From a case From a pallet From a truck From a boat
EVERYTHING SUCKS and I don't give a fuck I wrote a song about it Now my fuck you will suck EVERYTHING SUCKS especially my fuck Shitting dicks Piss my ass Gassing up the truck
Patricia Heaton's got a CLOT Bleedin' on the Heaton YACHT I'd rather be b-beatin' OFF Than eatin' Mrs. Heaton's TWAT The fish-a that's Patricia's ROT She needs to smoke some fuckin POT Smoke a fatty Patty WHOT? Everybody loves my COCK
Part Five 00:03




released July 28, 2007

aka "Demonstration Recordings For Auditioning Young Hopefuls"

Recorded 2007 at Optical Pies Recorders, Sacramento CA
All music by Stanton Hassler
All lyrics by "Lucky X" Nelson & Stanton Hassler

Thanks to James Finch Jr., who named the band


all rights reserved



TrashCanEagle Sacramento, California

Official label of XOC* and friends

* one of those video game music guys

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