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about

{TCE-003}

credits

released July 28, 2007

aka "Demonstration Recordings For Auditioning Young Hopefuls"

Recorded 2007 at Optical Pies Recorders, Sacramento CA
All music by Stanton Hassler
All lyrics by "Lucky X" Nelson & Stanton Hassler

Thanks to James Finch Jr., who named the band

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license

all rights reserved

about

TrashCanEagle Sacramento, California

Official label of XOC* and friends


* one of those video game music guys

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Track Name: Thrown Feces in a Restaraunt
Buckwild fucker up in Applebees
Huck a fuckin' fistful of feces please
Untamed imbecile in Outback
Super slimy salvo comin' from his crack
In Red Lobster with a hard red hog
Kickin' over tables throwin' messy logs
Turd-throwin' maniac logs are split
International House of a Pile of Shit
Track Name: Phil Collins Knocking People Over
Phil Collins came to town
Riding on a mower
Took a growler
Then he started knocking people over
Throwing wild punches
In the grip of fear
Chuck Berry on a snow saucer up in here
Track Name: Butt Log Dog
Jalapeño and cheese (CORN)
Jalapeño and cheese (DOG)
Butt log dog ALL FOR ME
Track Name: Deceased at Voivod
The blood flows like a river on metal road
Whoever heard of a river that was on a road?
And never mind the river;
roads are never really made of metal
Unless you're in Deceased,
and you're sailing blood river on a LOVE BOAT
Track Name: Open Container
Open container, got an open container
Got an open container
Now I’m on your street
Open container, got an open container
Got an open container
I'm exposing my meat
Open container, got an open container
Got an open container
And it spells your doom
Open container, got an open container
Got an open container
In your living room
Track Name: Dan Spitz Disembodied Hair
Dan Spitz' hair is a fucking nightmare
It crawls off his head and jiggles down the stairs
Dan Spitz' wig gets into a big rig
Gets on the freeway then drives to a gig
It comes to my house in the middle of the night
I find it staring at me when I turn on the light
Mullet factor terminal
Bulbous and removable
It calls me on the fucking telephone
Heavy metal ball of hair
Levitating through the air
It has a fucking life of its own
Track Name: Elves Impress Me
Mount for a mount from a Craigslist slut
Whorecraft sitz bath take it up the butt
Track Name: Retarded Girlfriend
Retarded girlfriend sleeps standing up
Made an eye patch from an athletic cup
Retarded girlfriend is in it to win it
Runs around in circles for a hundred-twenty minutes
Retarded girlfriend is a gift from above
Sweatpants full of piss and a heart full of love
Retarded girlfriend, ripe for the ream
Retarded pizza party tinkle-drinker supreme
Track Name: I Can't Decide
I can't decide what is right:
The losing horns from Price is Right,
or the death jingle from Mario 2
(To be played at my funeral on a loop)
Track Name: Information Pooper Highway
WWW DOT WWW DOT WWW DOT WWW DOT
Interlet / toinet / interlet / toinet
Outhouse / inbox / website / shitbox
Interlet / toinet / interlet / toinet
Outhouse / inbox / website / shitbox
WWW DOT
Track Name: Lump of Dump
Lump of dump / hiding in my pant
I can hump / and Immanuel Kant
Sucky sauce / in a bitchen brew
Load of toss / comin' right at you
Decoupage / all my jit-rag sheets
My garage / where I cure my meats
Garden hose / wrapped around my prick
Stem the rose / with a big horse dick
Itch my hog / like no one else can
Dick a dog / like the fucking man
Track Name: OMGAR
OMGAR OMGAR Oh my god I found a rubber
OMGAR OMGAR Little person motherfucker
OMGAR OMGAR White bitch in the kitchen
OMGAR OMGAR Hip-hopera with no pissing
Track Name: Root Beer as Semen Euphemism
Alanis in a taco fight
Accidentally Farted Boulder
Wheelie Poppin' Mennonite
Missing toilet paper holder
Existential hidden pants
Pissin' pony party pickle
Calaveras cuckoo dance
How you say, "bitchin radical" ["b'CHIN ruh'DICKLE"]
Twinkasetti waterslide
Danny "D" O'Peterpanty
Operates a carny ride
Yakamoto didn't ante
Billy Barty hackysack
Listen to a load of toss
Burgers in a fannypack
Semen euphemism lost
Track Name: USA USA One Two Three Four
Fireworks fireworks motherfuckin' fireworks
Track Name: Ass Grenade
Pound sand, kick bricks, hit the fuckin road
My logsplitter is about to explode
Reaching in, pull the pin, grabbing a grenade
Not of Army issue, toilet tissue is slayed
ASS GRENADE COMES FROM THE PLACE
WHERE FOOD COMES OUT
U SCREAM AND SHOUT
The shrapnel of the crap will
Go off in your face
The rectum's more effective
Cause it's cheaper than mace
Play to win, reaching in, producing a bomb
You scatter from the scat
'cause it's so fucking wrong
ASS GRENADE, LUMP OF CLAY
DETONATE THE FOOD I ATE
Track Name: Invalid Sailboat Race
On deck, flopping
There’s no stopping the invalid sailboat race
Wheelchairs roll
You can’t control the invalid sailboat race
Track Name: Suck Fuck Snort Abort
Suck, fuck, snort, abort
Overdose in traffic court
Party hearty, smoke and joke
Throating balls until you choke
Flab, scab, poles, holes
That's how far the Kaiser rolls
Flab, scab, poles, holes
That's how far the Kaiser rolls
Track Name: Smoke 'n' Boat
There's a boat
Full of trucks
Full of pallets
Full of cases
Full of boxes
Full of packages of BOAT
I got some BOAT
From a package
From a box
From a case
From a pallet
From a truck
From a boat
Track Name: Chupa Everything
EVERYTHING SUCKS and I don't give a fuck
I wrote a song about it
Now my fuck you will suck
EVERYTHING SUCKS especially my fuck
Shitting dicks
Piss my ass
Gassing up the truck
Track Name: Patricia Heaton
Patricia Heaton's got a CLOT
Bleedin' on the Heaton YACHT
I'd rather be b-beatin' OFF
Than eatin' Mrs. Heaton's TWAT
The fish-a that's Patricia's ROT
She needs to smoke some fuckin POT
Smoke a fatty Patty WHOT?
Everybody loves my COCK
Track Name: Part Five
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