Thanks For Ruining Christmas

by Recreational Episiotomy

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about

[TCE-067]

The brand-new RECREATIONAL EPISIOTOMY EP is a muthergrappling holidaythiest menace!!

Written*, recorded, mixed, mastered, and artworked December 15th - 24th, 2015
Made on drums, guitar, bass, Monotron, electric piano, sleigh bells, and yeah. Vocals provided by Jason "I'm Getting Sick Starting NOW" Cox

AND featuring guest 'vocals' by 初音ミク**!!!!




* the music, anyway. I wrote all the lyrics years ago for KnifeThruHead

** via the Korg Miku pedal

credits

released December 25, 2015

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TrashCanEagle Sacramento, California

Official label of XOC* and friends


* one of those video game music guys

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Track Name: Sodomize a Corpse's Face on Christmas Eve
SODOMIZE A CORPSE'S FACE ON CHRISTMAS EVE

Sodomize a corpse's face, sodomize a corpse's face
Sodomize a corpse's face on Christmas Eve

Liquor bought, drink a lot
Go to bed, wake up dead
Pumping hips on your lips
Horny beast on the deceased

Sodomize a corpse's face, sodomize a corpse's face
Sodomize a corpse's face on Christmas Eve

Dick like horse in mouth of corpse
Semen coats departed throat
Coffin sin of balls on chin
Oral corpus
Rigor mortis
It's so gorgeous
Squeak the chorus like a porpoise
Track Name: Napalm Tannenbaum
NAPALM TANNENBAUM

You took your whole family
To go pick out a Christmas tree
Tannenbaum, I hate that song
How's about a dirty bomb
Rows and rows of Christmas trees
Ignite and smolder instantly
Flaming children in a maze
Green inferno blocks their way
Smoke fills up December sky
Flesh is boiling as you die
Now I have a blackened tree
Made out of your family
Track Name: Secret Santa
SECRET SANTA

I know you know I'm Santa, though people call me Steve
I'm parked across the street from your house Christmas Eve
I watch you wrapping presents, the children's Christmas loot
I jerk behind the wheel and stain my Santa suit

Soon I'll take your children and put them in a sack
Hang it from a tree and beat it with a bat
I'll snatch away your husband, bind his hands and feet
Chain him to my bumper then sleigh ride down your street

I know you know I'm Santa, no matter what you say
I'm parked across the street for all of Christmas day

I'll take you to my workshop, a crawlspace with no laws
Now you'll keep the secret that you're my Mrs. Claus
You're my Mrs. Claus
You're my Mrs. Claus

I'm checking my list, and I know that I've been naughty
(with a razor at my wrist)
Your hubby won't be missed, and they'll never find the body
(it's cut up and wrapped as gifts)
A black Christmas wreath and a stocking full of teeth
Rest in peace
Track Name: Drawn & Quartered on Christmas
DRAWN AND QUARTERED ON XMAS

We sing Christmas carols while you whimper, scream and beg
Heavy duty nylon rope around your arms and legs
All four limbs each tied to reindeer, then we make them run
Ripped apart on Christmas Eve in front of everyone
Track Name: Chimney Surprise
CHIMNEY SURPRISE

A rusty wolf trap in the fireplace
I just can't wait to see that fucker's face
Track Name: Feliz Navidump
FELIZ NAVIDUMP

Caca para un regalo
Caca para un regalo
Caca para un regalo
Eso es lo que obtienes

I want to wish you a piece of shit-mas
I want to wish you a piece of shit-mas
I want to wish you a piece of shit-mas
And it comes from where I fart
Track Name: Beaten with a Stocking Full of Dildos
BEATEN WITH A STOCKING FULL OF DILDOS

Christmas morning
Without warning
Here comes a stocking full of dildos!
Violent surprise
Stockings oversized
It took a lot of dongs to fill those!
The kids were sleeping
Now they're weeping
"Why, dad, why you wanna hit us?"
He laughs with glee,
And mercilessly
Beats them, screaming, "Merry Christmas!"
Track Name: Bukkake Nog
BUKKAKE NOG

Christmas day, she'll
take a facial
Suck like a champ, get fucked like a dog
The jissem of the elves is hot egg nog
...oh yes it is
Track Name: Venereal Miracle
VENEREAL MIRACLE

I fucked this Jewish girl without a rubber on
I only used a drop of lube - my cock burned eight nights long
Track Name: Minstrel Kringle
MINSTREL KRINGLE (Don't Even Mention Zwarte Piet)

He fell down the chimney, covered in soot
On his lips, white paint he put
Blackface Santa, he make joke
about fried chicken and being broke
He burned crosses on the lawns o'
families celebrating Kwanzaa
He pissed them off with a racist stunt
involving a wrapping paper blunt
The Kwanzaa hymnals in his mouth
are taken from "Song of the South"
An angry mob screaming and yellin'
'cause Santa made a joke about a watermelon
Edgy racial humor's not
the strong suit of this red-suit twat
HE'S ABOUT TO GET KNOCKED THE FUCK OUT!
K-Kris-Kringle's death looms near
Reindeer will not help you here
They caught Santa trying to flee
They lynched him from a Christmas tree
Track Name: Snowhuff Tinselpants
SNOWHUFF TINSELPANTS

A brown paper bag and a can of spray snow
A tinsel loincloth that sparkles and glows
Shitting self from pleasure, a holiday menace
Huff 'til I collapse into piles of presents
Track Name: Hanukkah Roulette
HANUKKAH ROULETTE

We sit around a table
and spin a little dreidel
and where it lands
with guns in hands
We find out if it's fatal

NUN - spin the cylinder, pull trigger once
GIMEL - spin the cylinder, pull trigger twice
HEI - put the gun down, don't pull at all
SHIN - spin the cylinder, pull until you fall
Track Name: I Took a Shit in a Salvation Army Donation Kettle
I TOOK A SHIT IN A SALVATION ARMY DONATION KETTLE

I took a shit in the bucket
then I ran around the corner and hid
I usually don't give a shit
but this Christmas I did
Track Name: Nativity Scene Bestiality Party
NATIVITY SCENE BESTIALITY PARTY

Witness the birth of a miraculous child
Gather around, it's time to get wild
This heartwarming scene is about to get stranger
The shitholes of goats and of sheep are in danger
The virgin is sleeping on hay that is piled
The animals sense us and start to get riled
Here we come naked, three wise anal rangers
Ready to cornhole everything in the manger