The Burning Hell!

by Theophagus

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about

[TCE-059]

Theophagus Volume 12* is here! They just keep getting weirder.

THEOPHAGUS is the name of the solo songwriting/recording project I began at around age 16. From 1992-2002 I recorded roughly 100 hours of material, most of it on my Yamaha MT8X 8-track cassette recorder. Every song has been redigitized, rebuilt, remixed, and remastered directly from the original cassettes.

(Please note that while we at Optical Pies Recorders have made every effort possible to heighten and augment the fidelity, the quality in places might seem lacking. Probably because I was a teenager and recorded everything through crappy distortion and phaser pedals. Also of note on this volume: Though it doesn't sound all that different, yes, track 2 is supposed to be shitty.)

* and if you're wondering where volumes 10 and 11 are - they are the two volumes of cover songs. The bonus Steely Dan and Prince EPs are volumes 10½ and 11½, respectively.

credits

released November 18, 2015

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TrashCanEagle Sacramento, California

Official label of XOC* and friends


* one of those video game music guys

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Track Name: Italian Minus
ITALIAN MINUS
(Bottle of Jealousy Chapter II)

Driving in my little car, my back is getting stiff
Can you tell me where to find the nearest fucking cliff?
Muscles tight, take a right and run right through the traffic light
Gun it valiant, bleed through my bandages, oh tell us why
An Italian without the advantages, oh jealous I
If I was like Lydell I wouldn’t be a player-hater
But I’ve been known to take the bone and raise defenses later
Dan, Dan, he’s our man, while I dig through the garbage can
Blank, blank, walk the plank, did you hear when my heart sank?
Track Name: Tune In Tokyo
TUNE IN TOKYO

A bit of growth for the masses
Shaded brown sunglasses
Pathetic display of vulgar inches
Compounding your impasses
I bet you read it backwards
I've been eating black turds
The tightened pair of pants, it pinches
Believe it or not -- I lack words
Brutta occhio
Censored Pinocchio
Tune in, Tokyo
Track Name: The Bad Boy of Failure
THE BAD BOY OF FAILURE

You've got to show me your feelings are real
You blew a gasket and you blew a seal
Don't let me have another lonesome year
My heart is bigger than it may appear
You've got to give me more of a sign
Although I might be a little benign
I'll be a danger if that's what you like
A leather jacket and a Fat Boy bike
Track Name: Sage Rock
SAGE ROCK (Obfuscating is Not a Crime)
Track Name: Savini
SAVINI

Grande illusions
Death, contusions
I'll show you things beyond your wildest dreams
A scream, TV, oh no
False perceptions, inspired inceptions
I'll show you things beyond your wildest dreams
A scream, TV, oh no
Track Name: Wasting Time and/or Hate
WASTING TIME AND/OR HATE

Wasting hate with the pockets of time
Wasting all my hate
Wasting time with the pockets of hate
Wasting all my time
ETC.
Track Name: She Cheated on Me with my Own Penis [demo sketch]
SHE CHEATED ON ME WITH MY OWN PENIS

She cheated on me with my own penis
And I didn't even have a say
There was no way to leave
So I decided that I'd stay
She rang my bell and she wrung my neck
And I didn't even know
There was no way to stay
So today I thought I'd go
I'm a knight in living armor
In the night of shining dead
When the nightlife comes alive
I will be mourning too
[???] the pen is mightier than the cord/chord
That I strung/strummed across some dumb somebody new
She cheated on me with my own pen
Is that fair, would you say?
There was no way to leave
So I decided that I'd stay
She rang my bell and she wrung my neck
And I didn't even know
There was no way to stay
So today I thought I'd go
I'm a knight in living armor
In the night of shining dead
When the nightlife comes alive
I will be mourning too
Track Name: The Sun Shines
...THE SUN SHINES

You got your eye so far up my ass
you can’t see shit
but if I tighten
lights will brighten all ‘round it
Pull out your eye and take a look around
Everything’s a darker shade of brown
And where I shits is where I dines
out of my ass...
Track Name: World's Greatest World [alternate demo version]
WORLD'S GREATEST WORLD
[EARLY VERSION DEMO SKETCH]

Somewhere, high as hell
Listenin' for the last bell
Listenin' to a talking-to
Nuh nuh nah nah nuh nuh nuh
Ya dadddaa dadadada etc.

But it's the greatest
You've gotta love it
No, really, you do
I can prove it scientifically
And when those flags re-furl -
World's greatest world

ETC. ETC. ETC.
Track Name: Flourish of a Harpist
FLOURISH OF A HARPIST

Flourish of a harpist
Oh baby, do me in
I'm under doctor's orders
You say I don't say
Wha'cha mean, baby?
On that pedistal
It's more of a podium
All this - from all sides
Conservation conservation conservation conservation
Say nothing and like it
Say nothing and mean it
Like nothing and say it
Like nothing and get it
Say nothing and mean it
Like nothing and get it
Say nothing and like it
Say nothing and mean it
Track Name: YDRWISICBBWIMIIWBW
YDRWISICBBWIMIIWBW

You don't realize when I say
"I couldn't be better"
What it means is
"I will be worse"
Track Name: Ugly Tree
UGLY TREE

Happiness is frightening when it shows up in your grasp
It's haunting you
It's daunting to be left the one to ask
I do what's important for me
Built a clubhouse in the ugly tree
And when I lose my balance
all my talents will no longer bear my weight
My skills of architecture will insure
my fall down to your
town
I fall down from the branches
into your arms
I fall down
to your town
and the ranches and the farms
provide a rhyme