Hogwash Warhorse

by Theophagus

/
1.
My Hot Dog 00:50
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Ricky Tick 01:30
RICKY TICK I don't wanna hear your chirping Your voice makes me sick You're dancin' by yourself and it's so creepy I want to see it want to hear it but it makes me mad Turn it up, I wanna get real weepy Ricky tick It's a generation lost for a reason this time Tortured rich, and tortured poor, it's all historic It's reprieves and it's a cushion for the final blow Let it go, it's all for good and the rhetoric [PRONUNCIATION LOL]... Ricky tick
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(I GUESS) I LEFT MY HEART On the road I drove just southwest of Vegas That's where you tell the cans from the can'ts And I'll stay with you as long as it'll take us 'Cause I guess I left my heart in my other pants
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ORANGEVALE [4-track version] The girl of my dreams is heading east In a Chevrolet with no brake While I reside here in Orangevale Throwin' rocks towards Folsom Lake
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I GOT MORE BLANK THAN BLANK I dance through the flowers like a windowsill Playin' ketchup on my pickup with a purple bill Silly suckamuthafucka tries to gank my shoes And I'm-a bust a fryin' pan between his baby blues Pickled carrots in my pockets and I'm ready to slide With my hangin' fuck-rudder I can squeeze my pride And I lay more pipe than Mario Bros And I grab Eddie Munster and I punch him in the nose [???????????] salad on my plate And I'm like Hank Rollins, I got weight A 3.5 in the crack of my ass And you don't catch a ride without gas Fool I'm-a school ya, meanin' I'm-a bore you to death But I hope you don't smell the snootchie on my breath My rhymes are self-adhesive so don't bother to lick But it seems I spoke too soon, cheese-dick PIGMOTHERSUCKWAD F-U-C-K-O-F-F and D-I-E, back offa me 'Cuz I'm dangerous, sometimes Power Rangerous I don't fuck around so give me my changerous Yeah, and you don't stop at the four-way intersection Put much flex in, I'm flexin' in the mirror like Commando They gave me the go-ahead, said, "go man go" The concrete's on fire as my tires squeal like Ned Beatty [[[[????????? thunderpeel?]]]] You're a pig in the mud and I'm a horse in the barn "I'm the stallion" like Kim Korn Carne And I'm-a get way down and then get high [[?? on your ass like a diaper-pie So clean your [clock] and your [booties?] and come along And clap your hands while you sing this song Pigmothersuckwad ("what's up, Ferris, how's your bod?") Pigmothersuckwad (The Sadistic Bunch, the Marky Marquis de Sade) Pigmothersuckwad (Nick's at the CPU buildin' a WAD) Pigmothersuckwad (play this shit and it'll get outlawed) Pigmothersuckwad ("time, it's in the hand of God") Pigmothersuckwad (I'm gonna smack you in the face with a dirt clod)
7.
EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF Improbably, totally gone I lingered on, Lucia and me Not the one who I had dropped from my hands from that tower of sand That I had built sound, a foot above the ground A circular march 'round the world Every man for himself Send a search party for the words Every man for himself Let's get it straight: you say you're for real Well, I'm forlorn And there's two things I hate: [?CaliSMW?]* and UFO tea But let's make a deal on hating me and you Don't get me right, I'm just in love with myself Namely, myself dead I'm watching it go, I'm listening solo I'm listening so low * NOTE: I can't remember what this meant, but I know it's not a reference to Super Mario World, or the Xoc album SMW.
8.
ELEVENTH HEAVEN A living space devoid of joys The hall of noise at five to ten The sound of this place A time for talk, a war by piece Connection ceased, a faulty door Two keys with no lock Paranoia den at any cost Erebus found and heaven lost The sound of this place No matter floor, no matter stairs No one sees and no one cares Two keys with no lock Portions of sin The number on the door Here we go again
9.
False Horse 01:28
FALSE HORSE Time to lose Here to pine Everyone who’s friends of mine Read the walls Every night Something calls the kettle white Not the pot Or the drink There’s a bottle in the pink Here to pine I won’t lose Never mind just who is whose Go out light Homecoming Every night the walls will sing Reinforce Eating words Fabricated horse and birds. One day soon Rest will come Making moonlight scarce for some. Even still As a horse Nature will not run its course. You’re blameless My regret Only makes the shameless wet. Reevaluate my state Envy only what I get
10.
RISE LIKE YEAST (PT. 2) Like the Del Vikings, come and go with me We will go away, together we'll be free Leave this all behind and find a new domain Try it all again, this time without the pain We'll be arm in arm, walking down the lane Find a little place to shelter out the rain Never knew how much I wanted us to be We will go away together, you and me Leave this all behind and get a brand-new start Living in the fragile convalescence of my heart And I will rise like yeast And I will rise like yeast Fuck
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ONE-ARMED BANDIT Couldn't get a ride on Saturday To the biggest little city for what I need to play Monday mornin', go to work, I was feelin' kinda mean I put five dollars of nickels in the soda machine Just to hear him them jangle, I pulled the coin return O Lord, I'm in a tangle, I know I'm gonna burn One-Armed Bandit one night stand We are connected His good arm in my hand Couldn't get a ticket for the free buffet In the state where my hunger never goes away Pullin' down a million arms - you don't have to twist mine I like on methol lights and vagrant's wine Chips mean more than money when I cash them in Outside the neon it's sunny But I know I'll never win
13.
Flying Baker 01:53
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CRYIN' CARIBBEAN I own my own pool cue like most of the natives do But when I sail off to sea, it'll be a good day to die It just makes me cry And it's just another burger chain now (and how) And why, tell me why Why isn't this shit getting me high? It just makes me cry
17.
WHERE THE SCORNED GO TO DIE I found my body waking with my mind an open cut A smoky old Victorian with windows painted shut Spiderwebs of black lace and flowers dead and dark The all of gothic renaissance two blocks behind the park Who, not what Why, not who Would I be drunk from the shine off the moon? or drunk off the shine from the moon? Either way, I’m gonna need a ride home pretty soon Her figure in a shadow creaked along the floor Just at the last minute I saw something over the door It was an ancient parchment with words which made me cry It read in black calligraphy...
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Pizza Pussy 01:03
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Ditty #524 01:21
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EXPLODING TEETH Necessity breeds indiscriminate escapades Discover a new way Find what you’ve lost Unendurable dental pain A sense of wonder, a healthy fear
22.
Ferrari 02:54
FERRARI You came up to me in your farting Ferrari Played me some games on your dying Atari I can’t say I’m sorry (not on this safari) I’ve smelled from your cloves and I’ve snorted your curry Decked myself out in a windbreaker furry I can’t say I worry (not here in Missouri) You’re in such a hurry To get to the quarry You bend spoons like Uri You Povich like Maury I’m judge and jury Under skies so starry Bang your fists of fury Krishna Krishna Hari
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[NOTE: No digital or hard copy of the lyrics to "But I'm Shyer" have as yet been found.]
26.
Dishrag 01:06
27.
Juel 00:41
JUEL Your name is Jewel - you are a fewel your music bears a very large resemblence to stewel You think you rewel, you think you're kewel I don't mean to be crewel but you should sit upon my tewel Until the fyewel forms a pewel I'll take you to skewel 'cause your poetry is drewel My apologies to Jewel fans - just don't get me wrong. I know nothing about her (even though I wrote this song). I only wrote these lyrics because the "-ewel" thing made me laugh. But if you're still offended shove your head straight up your ass.
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3:1 01:03
30.
Blue Eyes 03:54
BLUE EYES Back before that girl was gone, 'fore I got my first gun I laid on the grassy lawn and stared into the sun Take it in a canvas sack when that's all you can do Walls a'shakin', painted black when everything looked blue Spread-eagle and green but somehow, somewhat yellow Came across the desert screaming "hello" Take it back to whence it came, I don't run that mess Cabin fever, driven sane, dance in that purple dress "For if you love those who love you, what reward have you?"* Do not even those above you watch your mind turn blue? Spread-eagle and green but somehow, somewhat yellow From across the road you can hear me bellow (Whistle, daughter, whistle, and you shall have a goat I can't whistle, mother, because it hurts my throat) Why be mourned by the choir or beaten by the band When I got stone and steel and fire down here in my hand? Came to town without a name in a '78 Mustang II Something tells me it'll be the same when everything looks blue Spread-eagle and green but somehow, somewhat yellow Howling Jesus' name in that black bordello *[Matthew 5:46]
31.
ORANGEVALE [8-track version] The girl of my dreams is heading east In a Chevrolet with no brake While I reside here in Orangevale Throwin' rocks towards Folsom Lake Now all the things within my grasp Are my hospital corners now Smoothing it out from the inside But I'm not quite sure of how Sometimes in my dreams I see a beast In an everyday bunch of clothes Then I just turn towards the hillside and I see where the highway goes The orange and the white Are reminiscent of the sunset vista/view So you take care of this equipment and it will take care of you NOTE: in my 1997 notes, this full title of this version was, "ORANGEVALE (OR: REVENGE OF THE FUCKING SNOW PEOPLE)". wtf?
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{TCE-043}

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released July 30, 2015

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